Spiritual Partnership: Step Into a Relationship With Greater Depth and Clarity
I remember first hearing the term ‘spiritual partnership.’
It was back when Oprah Winfrey had Gary Zukav on her show to discuss the wildly popular book The Seat of the Soul.
In his book, Zukav says:
“Spiritual Partnership … The new female and the new male are partners on a journey of spiritual growth. They want to make the journey. Their love and trust keep them together. Their intuition guides them. They consult with each other. They are friends. They laugh a lot. They are equals. That is what a spiritual partnership is: a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.”
This felt like a revolutionary concept!
At the time, I was young — probably in my early 20’s. I couldn’t begin to grasp what this meant. It didn’t seem very safe, a significant shift from tradition.
Looking at it now, I can see how valuable and meaningful it might be!
Let’s take a look at some aspects of what a spiritual partnership is:
Understanding the meaning of spiritual partnership.
“Unlike traditional marriages committed to material safety and comfort, the spiritual partnership goes one step further and commits to mutual spiritual growth. Within spiritual partnerships, the focus is not just on us, our needs, our desires, and our petty grievances — instead, the focus gradually becomes local, national, and global.”
― Mateo Sol, Twin Flames and Soul Mates: How to Find, Create, and Sustain Awakened Relationships
It’s easy to focus on the traditional aspects of relationships, like trust, communication, and affection. But the spiritual partnership is a deeper level of connection between equals, rooted in shared values and an understanding of each other’s unique path.
It starts with recognizing that both partners are on their journey to authentic power together and respecting and honoring each other’s paths and need to create profound spiritual growth.
A spiritual partnership is a safe place to explore and grow and to be vulnerable and honest in a nonjudgmental way. It’s about forming a bond, and profound new relationship dynamic, that transcends the physical realm.
A spiritual partnership offers an opportunity for profound growth and learning.
Seeing things in a new way, the concept of ‘tradition partnership’ seems fairly outdated.
We expected to venture into the world and meet a partner who would somehow ‘complete’ us. Their presence had the power to eliminate all the pain, trauma, and sadness in our lives. (Wouldn’t that be amazing?!?)
But then, after a few months or a few years, the veil falls, and we’re left staring across the dinner table at a vulnerable, flawed human being with their own set of issues and challenges.
And we realize that they can’t save us from ourselves, after all! We need to do this ourselves.
A spiritual partnership demands the willingness to look within and take responsibility for our triggers.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung.
A foundation of this commitment is a willingness to own our ‘stuff.’ We’re unable to point the finger at our partner or friend and blame them for how their behavior upsets us. The spiritual partnership requires us to feel grounded within and to look closely at our own reactive patterns.
We need to look at the story we’re telling ourselves and find ways to heal and move forward. In some cases, over time, we may decide to move on from the relationship, or we may commit to staying. Either way, there won’t be a victim triangle dynamic.
Each person takes responsibility for themselves.
- Read about the victim triangle and parenthood here.
Spiritual Partnerships come in many shapes and sizes.
“A spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. Nothing like this archetype had existed before because nothing like this was required before in the human experience. And spiritual partnerships can be created in a biological family; they can be created among friends, they can be created in the workplace, they can be created anywhere that two or more individuals are committed to their spiritual evolution and are striving to relate to each other as equals.” — Gary Zukav
When it comes to spiritual partnerships, there are so many possibilities.
Maybe we already have them in our lives right now.
You can have a spiritual partnership with anyone who shares the same goal: a relationship among equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.
Making time for spiritual growth in your relationship.
Making time for spiritual growth in your relationship can be challenging, but it’s worth the effort. It takes commitment and dedication to keep it going, but the rewards can be immense.
For romantic partners, you can start by carving out time weekly to focus on your spiritual growth as a couple.
This could be anything from weekly meditation practice to doing yoga together or exploring different spiritual teachings. Make sure to give yourselves ample time to talk and process any experiences you may have.
By nurturing your spiritual connection, you’ll be able to create a deeper bond and understanding of each other’s lives. You may even be surprised by the level of trust and intimacy that can arise out of this shared spiritual journey.
The most important thing is to remember that spiritual partnerships are based on respect and trust and should be an inclusive and positive experience for both spiritual partners.
So, go ahead and explore different spiritual activities together and see what resonates!
Suggested guidelines for a spiritual partnership:
“Love is the ability to live your life with an empowered heart without attachment to the outcome.” -Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
Here are some ideas to get you started on the path of creating a spiritual partnership:
Commit to being your own true love.
You must place your relationship with your higher power at the center of your life.
In doing this, you shift the focus from your partner to yourself. You realize and acknowledge that to be successful in a partnership, you must work toward loving yourself.
The love you feel can then be a tremendous asset to your relationship. By loving yourself, you take the pressure off your partner to fill the voids you perceive within yourself.
This frees you to be a healthy, happy partner — a goal worth working toward!
Willingly commit to doing the work necessary.
“In order to attract and maintain romantic and spiritual partnerships, you must be what it is that you’re seeking. That is, you always need to put forth what you want to attract.”- Wayne Dyer
There’s no way around this. It’s work!
This quote by Wayne Dyer says it clearly. Instead of wanting your partner to change, you focus on yourself and become the very things you seek in your partner. Turn the mirror back onto yourself.
Write down all the qualities you want in your partner, and embody them!
Be totally, lovingly honest.
The spiritual partnership demands intimacy and honesty.
For many people, including myself, honest communication is challenging. Because it’s not, “Why did you make that plan? I’m so mad at you! Don’t you even care about me?”
Instead, it’s: “I feel hurt by that decision you made and felt excluded. Although I hope we can work toward better communication moving forward, I acknowledge that ‘my stuff’ was triggered. And I need to work on healing this tender area inside.”
Tony Robbins talks about the importance of connection and listening in this article.
He also says:
“Connection: We all crave it. We seek it through family and friends, but we often expect to find the most connection in our intimate relationships. When we don’t, we feel isolated and misunderstood. We let these negative emotions lead to arguments — or worse, we stop communicating.
Communication in relationships is essential to having a happy, healthy partnership. And it isn’t about making small talk. Asking your partner how their day went is nice, but you must dig deeper if you want an extraordinary relationship. Learning how to communicate in a relationship is about fulfilling your partner’s needs. To improve communication in your relationship, you must discover how to listen, not how to talk.”
- Read more about the importance of listening here.
Why your relationship may benefit from a spiritual connection.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
A spiritual connection can help you learn and grow in ways that nurture the relationship, inspiring understanding and acceptance of each other. It starts by recognizing each partner’s unique spiritual path and honoring it.
You’ll create a deeper bond and understanding of each other and your soul by nurturing your spiritual connection. This can be a truly transformative experience that will bring you closer together in unexpected and dramatic ways you’ve never imagined before.
The spiritual partnership offers a way to reframe relationships in new and exciting ways.
We’re living in a time of expansion, and our concept of relationships is being called into question.
The idea of a spiritual partnership frees us to seek a deeper level of connection. It may not work for everyone, but it might be just what you seek right now.
What do you think of the idea of spiritual relationships?
Let me know in the comments below!
(This article was originally published on April 27, 2023, and has been updated for improved thoroughness and clarity.)
